Sibling Preparation 101: How to Support Older Children Before Baby Arrives
Your guidance through this process with love, understanding, and patience will make all the difference.
New babies bring big changes! As a mom of five, I know the transition from one to two (or four to five) can be a challenge for older children and can bring out a lot of big feelings. It’s important to help new big siblings feel involved, while still reassuring them that they’re still just as loved as before.
The good news is that preparation is key (and you’re already starting that process by reading this blog). Here are our best suggestions for helping to prepare your older kiddo to be a big brother or sister.
Reading Together
Reading is a great way to introduce the idea of a new baby (and what that entails) to your older child. There are loads of books out there that cover the new baby transition. Here are a few that we love:
I’m a Big Sister or I’m a Big Brother by Joanna Cole
How to Grow a Dinosaur by Jill Esbaum
Will It Be a Baby Brother? by Eve Bunting
You’re the Biggest by Lucy Tapper and Steve Wilson
15 Things NOT to do With a Baby by Margaret McAllister
Because I’m New by Brad Sneed
Some older siblings have a lot of questions about babies. How do they get into Mom’s belly? How do they get out? For topics like this, we like an age-appropriate factual approach. Consider these books:
It’s Not the Stork by Robbie H. Harris
What’s in There: All About Before You Were Born by Robbie H. Harris
What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg
Establish Ritual
A solid routine can provide stability during an uncertain (and occasionally tumultuous) time. But let’s be honest, it can be really difficult to stick to a routine after adding a new baby to the mix. Creating a ritual that you can maintain after the baby's arrival can provide some of that stability and connection that your older child will be craving. It doesn’t have to be a big thing! Reading before bed, cuddles at nap time, playtime after lunch, or bath time after dinner – these are all small ways to connect with your older child that will lend a sense of stability while showing them you still have time to care for them, too.
Play it Out!
Play is a great way to help with such a big adjustment. Most toddlers love “helping” and caring for small things, so lean into that by getting them a baby doll of their own. Let them practice feeding, diapering, and cuddling their baby. You can also use it as a role-playing tool, showing them how you will care for the baby when it arrives. Bonus: after the baby arrives, you’ll have fun caring for your babies together. My oldest daughter was 3 when her sister arrived, and she would often set her baby doll next to her baby sister so the babies could “play” together.
Keep the older sibling involved!
There are many week-by-week books and apps that provide updates on your new baby’s development, both in utero and out. These can be a great visual tool to help big siblings feel more connected to the new baby and see how much they’re growing.
As you prepare the baby's room, let your older child be involved! Allow them to pick out some nursery decorations, a new outfit, or a special gift for their new sibling. When you take baby blankets and onesies out of storage, let your older child help put them away while you tell them stories from when they wore those clothes.
Consider a sibling preparation class at a local hospital! Kearney Regional Medical Center hosts a Big Little Helpers class, and CHI Good Samaritan has its Sneak & Peek sibling preparation class.
Communication is Key
Leading up to the birth and in the weeks following, it’s important to maintain open lines of communication. Ask your child how they're feeling, let them express any worries or fears, and affirm their feelings. Bath time, play time, or during car rides can be a great time to connect and chat.
Don’t forget that big feelings can come with such a big adjustment. After baby’s arrival, it’s common to have some jealousy, confusion, anxiety, or anger pop up. You may see regression or an increase in tantrums. Regulating your own emotions can help keep the chaos to a minimum.
Make space for fun
After the baby arrives, arranging for some baby-free one-on-one time will help reassure your big kid that you still have time for them. It doesn’t have to be grand or expensive; a picnic in the park or a movie night (complete with snacks and a blanket fort) can be very special ways to squeeze in some quality time. Kearney has a ton of great places to take your big kid for a fun day out – some of our favorites include story time at Kearney Public Library, romping around the Kearney Area Children’s Museum, toddler time at the new Sports Plex, and visiting the many amazing playgrounds in the city.
Remember, every child is unique and will react differently to having a new baby sibling. Your guidance through this process with love, understanding, and patience will make all the difference. I hope this helped spark some ideas on how to help your family’s transition go a little more smoothly.
If you’re looking for a photographer to capture these first moments with the older sibling and new baby, we’re here for you! Click here to see Lauren’s birth photography.
Want some more preparation tips? See our recent post on how to pack your hospital bag like a pro.
