Soft Beginnings: Prioritizing Rest in the Fourth Trimester
“Give yourself (and your body and baby) grace and permission to be human and to have a human experience.”
The postpartum period is a very important and magical time. Once your new baby arrives, time seems to slow down and the world shrinks around you. Healing and bonding during this time are paramount.
Postpartum is a time to be soft and to pause. Resting in today’s world is radical. It is common to overlook our physical and emotional need to rest under the internal and external pressures to quickly return to “normal.” When you do too much during this healing phase, it can prolong your physical recovery and place undue stress on your mental health. That’s not how we want you to start this new chapter in your life!
Here, we invite you to shake off those pressures and practice some radical self-care by prioritizing your rest. Here are some tips to help you get your best post-baby rest.
The 5-5-5 Rule
Many cultures traditionally practice resting periods after birth. Typically these are about 6 weeks or 40 days in length. During these healing periods, new mothers are cared for by friends and relatives, and rarely leave their home. This isn’t always practical in our culture, where we are often distant from our families, and we are expected to return to our regular workload quickly. Thus, the 5-5-5 Rule was invented.
If you want to give your body more space and time to heal and recover from its ordeal, this is a great place to start. The 5-5-5 Rule is simply this: spend your first five days in the bed, then the next five days on the bed, and then five more days near the bed before beginning to slowly resume some of your pre-baby activities. Remember to take things slow, and you can always return to your bed when you feel like you’ve done too much.
Postpartum Meal Planning
It can be really hard to prepare meals after your baby arrives. Having some nutritious meals and one-handed snacks stocked up can be a lifesaver! We recommend making a little extra here and there and freezing it (soups are great and easy to reheat). Or have some friends over for a freezer meal party, and prepare a lot of food at once!
Having a friend or doula set up a postpartum meal train can also be a huge help. This consists of creating an online schedule where your friends and family can sign up to bring you meals or send gift cards. Bonus: if folks are stopping by to bring a meal, they can probably spare a couple of extra minutes to take out the trash or wipe down your counters.
Planning to be Helped
Speaking of assigning tasks, now is a great time to practice asking for help and receiving it! This can be very challenging for many of us, but in our opinion, it is a crucial component of a positive postpartum experience.
We strongly recommend that any visitor to your home should be given a job. Well-meaning relatives often come to visit and hold the baby, but rarely realize that they also need to hold the parents. Keep a notebook nearby, and every time you think of something that needs to be done, write it down. Then, casually ask visitors if they’d mind helping with a few tasks from the list. Chances are, they won’t mind and they’ll be glad you asked. Remember, it makes people feel good when they can help you. And when someone helps you, they will feel better about asking you for help in the future. In our experience, folks often want to help, but don’t know how.
But sometimes we don’t have a strong support network to lean on after birth. For those times, we recommend hiring out help if you can. A postpartum doula can help with household work, infant care, and breastfeeding support. You may want to hire a night nanny to help you get some solid rest. A dog walker, housekeeper, or lawn mower can help take care of some of those tedious tasks that you’re not ready to tackle yet.
Emphasis on Rest
You may feel a surge of energy in the days following birth, but be cautious with how you spend your energy. It is very easy to overdo it in the early weeks. If you’re feeling particularly antsy, maybe get a change of scenery and enjoy a cup of tea on the front porch. Avoid long walks and exercise at this time – for now, gentle stretching and light walking are lovely ways to move your body.
Plan to limit trips up and down the stairs. Set up a cozy postpartum nest with all your essentials in a convenient location. Ask your partner or older kids for help getting snacks and drinks to limit the amount of time you’ll be standing. Remember that if you see an increase in your postpartum bleeding or start to feel sore, those can be signs that you’re overdoing things and need more rest (and, of course, to check in with your medical provider).
Finally, everyone always says it, but it’s worth repeating: sleep when the baby sleeps. New babies sleep a lot, but not always when it’s convenient. Prioritizing your sleep will promote good physical and mental health during this transitional period. We recommend taking ALL the naps.
We hope you’ve gathered some helpful advice for your postpartum recovery. Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup, so self-care is critically important during this time. Above all, give yourself (and your body and baby) grace and permission to be human and to have a human experience.
Are you in a prepping mood? Check out our tips for creating a cozy birth experience.
